A Non-Brony Reviews - My Little Pony: The Movie (2017)

Wow... the pressure... the whole world (or at least, the Brony and Pegasister community) wants to know what I think of the newest theatrical iteration of My Little Pony. It's a question I've been getting ever since the movie came out, and after the fans discovered my commentary videos on Season 1's two-part episodes when I first posted them on YouTube back in April and June of 2016.

(Which you can find here at these links: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CkzwNsf4Vj0&t=685s
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CGUT8HvEo_I)

And, now that it's been a few months since this movie's theatrical release, I think it's time for me to give my honest impression of this film.

To sum it all up; it was pretty good, but not without it's flaws.

And I'm going to get the negatives out of the way first.

The first thing I want to get out of the way is this; If you go into this movie expecting some grandiose storyline and an epic fantasy adventure that's akin to the animated epic fantasy films of the 1980s like The Last Unicorn (1982) or the original My Little Pony: The Movie (1986), or if you're expecting an over-the-top, epic grand medieval-style fantasy adventure like Lord of the Rings (2001-2003) or Game of Thrones (2010-present), then I have some unfortunate news for you; you're not going to get it. At face value, what you will be getting is a plotline with elements and tropes that have been overused quite a few times in the fanfiction part of the Brony community.

No seriously, just type in 'epic my little pony adventure fanfiction' into the Google search bar and you will encounter hundreds, if not thousands of fanfiction stories (whether good or bad) who's plotlines and story elements are exactly the same as what this movie presents.

Now granted, the storyline and tropes they used here are used in a completely different manner, but since I'm getting the negatives of this film out of the way first, let's move along.


The second thing I want to get out of the way; is that if this film was all about introducing a new cast of characters that may or may not make their appearance on the TV show, then it would've been better if they wrote off or killed some or all of the main  or side characters. Sure, that might sound morbid, and it might have alienated the fanbase or the target demographic, but if done correctly, it can work. Like how various Autobot and Decepticon characters were killed off in the 1986 animated Transformers film, remember that?


Another disappointing factor about this film was the villain; The Storm King. He was just too much of a one-track individual that we know little to nothing about and who has never been mentioned or referenced in the TV show until this point. Same thing goes for his kingdom. A few hints or references in the TV show could've been nice or helpful, like how they had Starlight Glimmer spying on Twilight Sparkle all throughout Season 5 before their final showdown at the end. But no, we got none of that. Instead, if the fans or target demographic want to find out more about the Storm King and his motivations, they have to go read the IDW comics.


It's also very disappointing that so many more characters that have been introduced in the show since it's beginning up to now are completely absent from the movie except for appearing in the background in non-speaking roles. Cause seriously, where was fan-favorite Discord? Where was Starlight Glimmer and Trixie? Where was Prince Shining Armor when his wife was petrified and imprisoned and Canterlot was being invaded yet again by another enemy force? I mean, hello? Isn't he supposed to be the Captain of the fucking guards? Where was Princess Ember, the Dragon Lord? Isn't Equestria now allies with the Dragons? What about King Thorax and the reformed Changelings? Shouldn't they have come to the rescue now that they are friends with the ponies? Or Hell, where was Flurry Heart in all of this? Wouldn't the Storm King want Tempest to capture her too so that he could take her magic as well? Come on Hasbro, it's not that difficult!


The next problem I have is with the motivations of Queen Novo. It's like one moment, she was all; 'your problems are not my problems!', to the Mane 6, yet at the end of the movie she's all; 'let's be friends again! Yeah?' towards Princess Celestia. I know it's probably because seeing her daughter going against her wishes and helping the Equestrian ponies in the final battle might have been the factor that changed her mind to bring her people out of hiding and build relationships with Equestria once again, but those scenes could've been worked out a whole lot better.


The other problem I has with this movie was how is it that the sun and moon kept moving even though Princess Celestia and Princess Luna were imprisoned in stone? I thought it's been established all throughout the show up to this point that the sun and the moon cannot move without the two princesses. Oh sure, Celestia took control of raising the sun and moon after she banished her sister over 1000 years ago, but here, they are imprisoned in stone for how many days? And the sun and moon kept moving throughout the sky without them? Explain movie! Explain!

...

 

Now, after reading through all of my whining, some of you out there probably think I hate this movie along with the rest of the cucks at Rotten Tomatoes because it doesn't have the 'Disney' stamp on it, or it's not a high-profile animated film that has the backing of a major studio, or where everybody in Manhattan praises the ever-loving shit out of it.

But no. Like I said at the beginning of this blog post, I think the movie is pretty good. Sure, it's not gonna win an Academy Award, but it's a decent animated fantasy film that kids and adults can enjoy.

So relax, Bronies and Pegasisters.

What I just did for the last few paragraphs, was nit-picking...

Yeah...

...

Nit-picking.

...

You know, like when everybody bitched and ranted about Spider-Man posing in front of the American flag?

Or when everybody whined and cried about Superman's "You're letting him kill Martha!" line in Batman V Superman?

Or when everybody pissed and moaned about Indiana Jones hiding in a refrigerator from an atomic bomb blast?

Or when George Lucas created Jar-Jar Binks as a 'child-friendly' character that ended up being torn to shreds by Star Wars fans and the public so thin that after 18 years they have been rendered microscopic?

People. Complain. About. Everything.

Which makes me wonder why there are some Bronies and Pegasisters out there that say this film is absolute perfection.

But I think this film is pretty good. So relax everyone, cause now it's time to get to the positive things I have to say about this film.


...


Now as for what I did like?

Well, for one; even though I said this movie's fantasy elements are not akin to other epic fantasy adventure films, it still managed to take a classic trope that has been used countless times throughout storytelling (which is the main hero(es) leaving their homeland and traveling far beyond it's borders), and I personally think they used it in an interesting way.

Cause so far, the Mane 6 (or any of the characters from the show) haven't really ventured far from their homeland of Equestria. As far as I know, they've only been to the North and Eastern parts of the world beyond the borders of Equestria, which includes the Crystal Empire, Griffonstone, Yakyakistan, the Badlands and the Dragon Lands. So it was nice to see them travel even further away from their homeland to an area that's ruled by somebody who isn't friendly to ponies and where the locals either look down upon them or want to use them for more nefarious reasons (anyone else catch that in the town scene and after Capper's betrayal reveal?). Especially to a series of locations where ponies haven't ventured to, and where the 'Magic of Friendship' isn't going to be enough to save or help them.

I thought the scenes involving the Bone Dry Desert, Klugetown, Captain Celano's ship, Mount Aris and Seaquestria were pretty well done. and it's nice to see even more of the world that lays beyond the borders of Equestria. And I hope the show's writers and directors will implement these locations and more into future seasons of the show.


Another thing I liked was the shady rouge character; Capper. I think the voice actor they got to portray him did a pretty good job, and his species is definitely deserving of being shown in future episodes or seasons of the show. Same thing for Captain Celano and her crew; the voice actors and actresses did a good job portraying them, and I'd like to see more of their species introduced into the show.

Furthermore, even though Capper's introduction and motivations are a tired, clichéd trope that's been used countless times in other stories (which is a rouge guy who only cares about himself, is deep in debt and the only way he can erase his debt is to turn in/sell the main hero(es) to the villains/crime boss), his face-turn from being a guy who cares about himself and erasing his debt, to helping out the Mane 6 in the end and sticking to it was much, much better than the heel-to-face-to-heel turn of DJ when he betrayed Finn and Rose in Star Wars: The Last Jedi...

...

Yeah...

I just said that...

Which only goes to show how sad of a day it is when a rogue character in a cartoon movie about ponies turning from bad to good is done better and more believable than a rouge character pretending to be good but remaining bad all the same in a live-action movie taking place in a Galaxy far, far away.

...

*ahem* anyway, back to the positives about My Little Pony: The Movie (2017)...


Another good thing about this movie is how it stands out from the rest of the crowd of animated films. And what I mean by that is while everyone else in the industry is too busy trying to push the boundaries of 3-D animation to the point where you can't tell if you're watching a Disney movie or a Pixar movie anymore, this movie went back to the basics of classic, traditional, 2-D animation.

I mean, Jesus, I've nearly forgotten what that era of films used to look like. With everything being all computer generated images these days, this movie was the equivalent of someone spraying a can of air refresher after years of certain somebodies taking constant, nasty shits.

I know I'm not the only one who's getting a bit jaded from seeing the same old 3-D animated films that come out every year, right?

So if you're in the mood to see that 2-D animated films can still be done even in 2017, then this movie is a definite positive in that regard. And I hope to see more film studios willing to take this risk and invest money into 2D animated films again. Because let me say one thing about this film; it is one of the most beautifully animated 2-D films that I have seen in a very, VERY, long time.


Another positive about this film was the story and eventual character arc of the broken-horned Unicorn; Tempest Shadow, or Fizzlepop Berrytwist.

Now granted, while the more "hardcore" bronies might spend 99% of their lives hating this character for being the stereotypical "edgy" character that's been used in other media many times before, especially in the fanfiction community of My Little Pony (seriously, just type in; 'red-and-black alicorn fanfiction' into google and you'll see what I mean), I personally did not have a problem with her character or her design.

In fact, everything about her character screams; 'badass' to me.

And sure, while her badassery can be boiled down to the typical origin story of; 'she had a traumatic experience in her life which caused her to become cynical and full of hatred as she grew older', let's not forget why she became a cynical character to begin with; She was once a young unicorn that had friends, family, and high hopes for the future, but after she lost part of her horn, she became shunned by her former friends, left alone, and quite possibly (even though the movie doesn't show this) teased, bullied and ridiculed by other fillies and colts which drove her to run away and become the villain that she is. I mean come on people, let's not forget that Equestria isn't always full of sunshine and rainbows.

Remember when Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon constantly picked on the Cutie Mark Crusaders until Season 5?

Or when Princess Luna was constantly put on the backburner until she finally snapped and became Nightmare Moon over 1000 years ago?

Or even in the IDW Comics where Sombra eventually became the tyrant that he was in Season 3 because everybody kept hiding the truth from him about his origins, thinking that everything would be alright even though the magic of the Crystal Fair kept hurting him?

My point being is, all villains start somewhere. And whether they have a tragic backstory that turns them into a cynical asshole or if they were just an ordinary individual who one day snaps, goes off the deep end and never looks back, all villains, in any medium, whether it's film, television, videogames, books, comics, fanfiction, etc. have to start somewhere.

And with the story and character arc that the writers gave to Tempest Shadow/Fizzlepop Berrytwist, I saw it as a believable story and character arc that could happen to anybody in the fictional world of My Little Pony.

Granted, I personally would've preferred if Tempest Shadow stayed evil at the end of the movie and take all the Storm King's power and position for herself after he reveals that he had no intention of helping her restore her horn after taking all the magic from the princesses of Equestria... cause, let's face it, I think we've had more than enough of former villains going against what makes them villainous and becoming reformed through 'the power of friendship!'... ah, but that's a rant for another day...


Another plus for this movie was how one of the artists who provided one of their songs for the soundtrack was cast as a character that had the same mannerisms and overall look of the real-world musician's stage persona.

I am of course, talking about Songbird Serenade, who is voiced by the music artist Sia.

Furthermore, I think it's nice to see a 2-D animated fantasy film in 2017 where a (for the time) modern pop song is not only on the film's soundtrack, but is also played in the film near the ending scene and when the credits start rolling.

Cause honestly, when I was watching this movie and the closing scene started rolling, I cannot believe how much I sorely missed the days of seeing 2-D animated films using the formula of taking a modern pop song and cleverly implementing it into the film.

Oh sure, Disney is still continuing this trend with their 3-D films, but honestly, I think this formula works better with 2-D animated films.

Especially when it comes to the classics like the Don Bluth films of the mid 1980s to the late 1990s, and even during the Disney Renaissance Era of 2-D animated films.

I hope I see more 2-D animated films implementing this formula.


Now, as for the comedic elements of this film, I can honestly say that they worked just fine in it's favor. Although sure, there were some jokes and moments that were supposed to be funny that didn't really deliver on the comedic aspect of things.

I mean, for example, the whole 'hippo' joke that ended up being a subtle reference to the 'Hungry Hungry Hippos' board game by Hasbro, that didn't get any chuckles out of me.

But for the other comedic moments of the film; like how Princess Skystar's character is all about being a bubbly, funny hippogriff princess, definitely had me cracking a few smiles here and there when she was on-screen.

And even throwing in the famous Transformers sound effect when Grubber was getting onto his pedestal when Tempest Shadow and the Storm King's forces invade Canterlot, was a nice, comedic touch as well.


Honestly, I could keep going on and on about the other positives and negatives of this movie, but now I think it's time I bring things back down to earth and drive the point home;


Bottom line, was My Little Pony: The Movie, a great film? Well, yes. But again, it depends on how you look at it.

On one hand, it's a great, 2-D animated fantasy film that is aimed for it's core adult audience and the young demographic fanbase, it's a very, visually appealing, colorful film, and the storyline is well done for the most part. It's a film that can resonate with both children and adults, and the way it was written, directed, produced, acted and animated serves to remind us of the more carefree times of our lives during the golden years of 2-D animated fantasy films, and to show how, even in 2017, 2-D animated films can be done.

But on the other hand, this is a fantasy film that uses the bare basics of the tropes in that genre. So if you go in expecting a grandiose, epic adventure that's on par with The Last Unicorn or Lord of the Rings, you're not going to get it. And the storyline, while they did the best with what they could come up with, it sounds too similar to the storylines that you can find through a google search of My Little Pony fanfiction. And while it's a visually appealing fantasy film, it probably won't go down in history the same way the 1986 Transformers film did, or the original animated My Little Pony film from the 1980s did. So don't expect this film to be nominated for any sort of awards at the end of the year.


However, I will say one other thing about this film; when I walked out of the movie theater after the credits ended, I saw a bunch of parents with their children by their sides, talking excitedly about the movie, and I had a flashback to my youth 20 years ago when I walked out of a 2-D animated film with my parents talking excitedly about what I had just seen.

In that moment, I thought to myself; wow, I used to be like one of those kids.

And now here I am, many years later as an adult, walking out of a 2-D animated fantasy film in 2017, with that same excited feeling that I once felt all those years ago when I was a child.

And quite honestly, that is the power that this film has which serves as it's shining moment; it's a 2-D animated fantasy film, made in 2017, that reminds us how despite the mistakes, errors and flaws that have been committed by other animation studios which caused them to throw in the towel and shut down their 2-D Animation studios over a decade ago, 2-D animated fantasy films can still be done in this modern world we live in, and it can still have the heart, talent and soul that 2-D animated fantasy films of the past once had.

They can tell the epic stories that their creators wish to show us, and they can still resonate with both the young and old.


But anyway, that's all I have to say about this movie.

I can't guarantee that you will end up liking this movie. And I also can't guarantee that your kids will like it, but I say; check it out. Cause it's a visually appealing film with a decent, fantasy theme to it, and it goes to show that there is more to My Little Pony than it being a simplistic toy line for little girls.


But of course, the biggest question that a lot of people have is; should this movie get a sequel?


And to that end, I say; no. It shouldn't.


Even though it's probably an inevitability, I really wish they wouldn't make a sequel.


My reasoning for this is because for one thing; the show has 2 years left in it's lifetime (according to some sources), and I think a lot of the show's writers, directors and voice actors want to move on to other things instead of being constantly shackled to this current iteration of the franchise. Unless of course they come up with some grandiose way of bringing about another movie that will serve as the show's finale after Season 9 wraps up in 2019, which will supposedly pave the way for Generation 5 My Little Pony.

But, if the current iteration of Generation 4 My Little Pony continues to be financially profitable for Hasbro by the time we get to Season 9's ending episodes, that Hasbro decides to make a Season 10 and beyond, then hey, I say go for it if a movie sequel to this film seems profitable, and if they can come up with a good script that furthers the storyline that this film gave us.


Well, in any case, those are my thoughts about this film. Thanks for listening to my ramblings, and until next time...


Goodnight America, and to all the ships out at sea.

The Battlefront II fallout, the roast of Electronic Arts, the anger of Gamers, and why this shouldn't surprise anyone at this point...

Well, time for another long-winded, diatribe, gaming rant from yours truly...

And quite honestly, I never thought I'd have to deal with this logo and the constant controversy surrounding the company it represents...

But, here we are again, at yet another massive gaming controversy that they have created once more.

So, for today's topic, it looks like the prediction I made several years ago turned out to be correct in the end...

When Disney chose to give the Star Wars videogame license to Electronic Arts in 2013 shortly after George Lucas sold everything related to Star Wars to Disney, I had a bad feeling (no pun intended) that this would be a bad decision...

Well, here we are 4 years later, and given all the controversy, backlash, roasting and legal troubles that Electronic Arts has caused in regards to their latest release; Star Wars: Battlefront II... I am honestly not surprised.

I'm not going to go into all the bruh-ha-ha and bullshit that has been going on for the past 2 months regarding EA and their handling of this situation...

...instead, I am going to discuss what WE, the gamers, the gaming community, and the gaming industry as a whole, can do about this.



First off; Yes, gamers, I get it. I get that you're fucking frustrated with Electronic Arts and how they allow games to be released that contain little to no content that can only be unlocked through microtransacions and pay walls...

I get that you're fucking pissed as hell that Electronic Arts purchased various studios and companies that made the videogames that defined our childhoods, and beat them into the dirt with their bad business practices...

I get that you want to start a petition and get thousands of signatures so that Disney can revoke EA's Star Wars license (the rumors are saying that they will, but no guarantees)...

And yes, I can see how hilarious it is when there are major publishers and developers in the gaming industry consistently dissing and roasting Electronic Arts right now. Everyone from Bethesda and CD Project RED, to Blizzard and Sony Interactive Entertainment (of America)...



But for someone like me, who hasn't purchased an Electronic Arts-published game since Medal of Honor: European Assault (2005), and who hasn't played an Electronic Arts-published game since Dragon Age: Inquisition (2014)...

Seeing all this uproar that a videogame company is causing right now, seeing all these people getting up in arms over a videogame that they knew wasn't going to satisfy them in any way whatsoever, seeing all these people starting petitions left and right against this company and it's parent who gave them the license...

To me, this whole event is just sad.

It really is.

Why?

Well gee, if THIS is what it takes for people to get motivated, to get up in arms, to protest and to sign petitions; the actions of a bad gaming company with bad business practices and shitty videogames since 2007 who CONTINUES to treat it's fanbases and the gaming industry like shit, when there are real, serious events and problems going on in our world right now...

To me, it's just really fucking sad.

It's really fucking sad when these kinds of problems are more at the forefront of our thoughts instead of the real problems of the world that affect us more seriously than we can even begin to imagine.


And yes, I get it. Like I said before gamers, you are pissed with Electronic Arts and how they've been treating the fanbases of it's various franchises for the past decade, and how their bad business practices have been hurting and negatively impacting the gaming industry and gamers as a whole. But you know what? Electronic Arts has proven time and time again, that they do not care what you think about them.

Another thing is that no matter how many times you guys protest, rant and scream about EA's bad business practice and how you 'will never buy another EA game again!', YOU will be back to buy another shitty, half-assed, videogame with the signature 'EA' stamp on it.

I know this.

The sensible gamers know this.

And Electronic Arts knows this.

No matter what you guys say or do, all Electronic Arts has to do on their end is put a shiny fresh coat of paint on their games, make false promises to 'stop their bad business practices', and you guys will come crawling back once again to buy their shit.

The same thing happened when Battlefield 1 was announced in 2016 after everyone eviscerated Activision for Infinite Warfare.

Folks, I don't know what else to tell you about Electronic Arts. I've stated time and time again in the past that NONE of you should be buying their games and supporting their bad business practices if they continue on this path. Because once again, that is the ONLY WAY to make them care about your complaints; and that is if NONE OF YOU, spend your money to buy a game that is published by them, and you hold true to that without falling for their lies and excuses that they make about an upcoming game.

Because if the number of people who don't buy their latest game is greater, than the number of people who are, then, and only then, will Electronic Arts care about what we have to say.

But it seems like once again, you all fell for their lies about Battlefront II, and you went out and spent money on a half-assed game that could've been given better treatment under a different gaming studio and game publisher.

Once again, it shows that all of you who wasted money on this game and the baggage that comes with it are suckers and easily swayed sheep.


*sigh*


You know, this whole thing reminds me of a wise statement that one person said in regards to Electronic Arts;

"This company is like a bad restaurant; they make bad business decisions, they inconvenience their customers, you hate the waiters, you hate the chefs, you hate the management, you hate the owners, you hate the food and you hate the way everything is put out in a half-assed manner...

...but you know what? Despite the countless lies and false promises they've made from past to present about 'improving their image' and 'better business practices', you all keep coming back here to pay money to eat their food and keep them in business".


And another thing, petitions have been sent to Electronic Arts left and right in the past long before this whole diatribe regarding EA potentially ruining the Star Wars franchise with their 2 shitty games and the cancellation of potentially good Star Wars games made by other companies under their umbrella. I mean shit, does anyone remember that one gamer who took his complaints to the FCC in regards to Mass Effect 3's shitty endings?

And my question about this petition is this; if Electronic Arts didn't give a dead moose's last shit about petitions in the past, what makes you think they are going to give a flying fuck about this petition now?

Oh sure, EA lost $3.1 billion on the stock market in lost revenue, Disney is considering revoking their Star Wars license, and the politicians in the U.S. State of Hawaii are considering signing into law, the first, ever, anti-gaming lootbox and microtransaction laws in this nations history...

And even if all these things will negatively impact EA in the long run, they've proven time and time again that they just don't care.

And with this new petition being sent their way, I guarantee you that they are going to take this petition and wipe their own asses with it.


*sighs again*


Folks... gamers... regular people... Star Wars fans...

I really don't know what else to tell you.

Other than if you truly want to hurt EA, you need to hit their bottom line; which is NEVER buying another EA game or anything with their brand on it ever again, and actually staying true to this conviction and never listening to another false promise or lie that EA tells you to sucker you into buying a new game from them.

And I guarantee that if the number of people who actually follow up on this is greater than the number of people who are going out and buying EA products, THEN, and ONLY THEN, will EA take notice of how their bad business practices and treatment of gamers and the gaming industry is hurting their bottom line and everyone else in general.

Until you all stop falling of their lies and getting easily suckered into buying more games from them, they will continue along this path of bad business practices and not caring how mad the gamers and gaming community gets at them.

But hey, if all the negativity that's been brought down upon EA with Battlefront II for the past 2 months causes them to care, and if they do revert back to the way things were before they started this bad business practice and not giving a shit about gamers...

...I will be the first to come onto here and say; "Holy shit! I can't believe how wrong I was, Electronic Arts actually listened to us and to our complaints!"...

...but you know what? A week from now, a month from now, six months from now, or even a year from now, what are you guys gonna do?

Are you actually going to follow up on this conviction and never purchase another Electronic Arts game or anything with their stamp on it, and never falling for their lies, false promises and hope that they give you guys before every major game release?

Or are you just going to sit there in your sourpuss little selves and just deal with it while continuing to buy more games and merchandise from them in the vain hope that your money will bring them to their senses and they'll revert back to the way things were before 2007?

Think about it people. Just think about it.

Well, I'm done ranting for today.

I'm going to go play some Fallout 4: Game of the Year Edition.

Have a good day, gamers.

Goodnight America, and to all the ships out at sea.